Living in a world upside down

Perhaps a better title for this blog,would be living right side up ,in an upside down world. But hey ,whatever to get your attention :-)..the title is one that kind of grabs you, does it not ? Haven't most of us heard this song and even sang it,especially when feeling alone, isolated or abandoned.

So just what do I mean, you may ask, when I allude to the possibilities of living right side up in a world upside down ???

Perhaps it was an adrenaline brain rush, caused by a surge of caffeine ( just ask any of my family members, I do not need alcohol to get "high" just give me an occasional cup of joe,viola ' hyper- mom...Having grown up in a heaven/hell home environment . I had wonderful a mom who lived her faith and alcoholic dad who lived his "faith"as well, he also had great qualities ,but unfortunately alcohol abused &destroyed ,these. My Dad ,under the control of alcohol,for most of his life would emphatically claim , he was in absolute control,of everything. Early in my life, I decided there would not be alcohol in my future,once I was able to be on my own.

So what did the caffeine "rush" supply to my thoughts, this particular morning ?( in my crazycritter blog I refer to my thoughts as ruminations...thoughtful ponderings.... having a shepherding personality I have enjoyed observing our cows and sheep in their relaxed chewing of cud state.... :-) I'm sure they think lovely thoughts,they look so peaceful, while doing so ...

I'm Not sure what started the thoughts about the rock,and being upside down, but the song I am a rock ,I am an island came to mind.

My rock ,on this planet is my husband..( I also have an amazing out of this world rock, A ROCK of rocks, who happens to also be the rock for my analytical ,scientific hubby ) My husband ,I am always counting on the amazing mind he has, he remembers verbatim nearly everything,especially words to something...so here goes his recollections for this song, and the more he remembered,and reiterated for me, the more my musings,and thought turning s(see the word ruminating does fit rather well don't you think ?)

Here are the words he remembered..

I am a rock, I am an island

I have no need of friendship

friendship causes pain

It's laughter and it's loving ,I disdain

Don't talk of love

I've heard the words before

It's sleeping in my memory

I won't disturb the slumber

of feelings that have died

If I never loved

I never would have cried

A rock feels no pain a rock

An island never cries.....

Now for this homemaker/MOM/critter shepherd/taxidermist/artist's/coach/consultant/biz entrepreneur /Indian heritage,thus quiet observations... gone wild dissection..., that seeks to looks beyond and beneath the surface,where/what is the bottom line,where does the rubber meet the road?. ( there is a saying about how music can change the world...it's words...( so I ruminate...what is truly being "said" and about whom ?? (...ummm...who alone ,is true love,who is the one true rock?)

For what it's worth, here is my bottom line evaluation(no beating around the bush, but as granddaughter would say when approaching an "ouchie" head on... that's kinda ouchy grandma, so perhaps tenderly beating around the bush(ourselves, our beliefs,what we accept,condone,or even unconsciously allow in the very airways around us,with much love). When we have our hearts set aright, our dreams will be in clear focus ,our goals will be vibrant and distinct,we can see and taste them...we will pursue them.

Along comes what I call a glitch(more in an upcoming blog that I am currently "ruminating about. These little missiles....they cloud our vision,they will robs us of life.....help , we cry out...and console ourselves,I am a rock ,I am an island....( FYOI as the author of this blog, I maintain the right to to beat around "this" bush" while I am proclaiming that I am not, keeps you guessing or thinking aha another caffeine "buzz"....does it not?)

In my list of favorite links, is a link to a blog called in the life of a child, in this blog is a link to another blog called slurping life. Now I've not yet gone to view that blog, but the title fascinates me...Slurping life....

When our vision,our goals etc are out of focus no longer can we slurp...To me slurping is enthusiastically, richly abandonment in pure enjoyment...slurping...

Our upside down world says we are ok ,you are ok...I(ME) am ok , I (me) am a rock (really?)...I have no need for anything outside of (me) I am an island ..I (me) stand alone,defend,care for,enjoy, everything (alone)....

thus I (me) have no need of friendships and what they bring...that LOVE is untrue,fails you ,it is a lie ..

All of these are untruths to "salve" "our" conscience so we can do, live, be ,as we choose (in this instance, alone...our own island,our own fortress)

Again, bottom line from this gals thoughts... what a contradiction,ultimately this "truth" is like blasting away at the real TRUTH, the very foundation of not only who we truly are,but who we truly are designed to be...

I personally believe each of us have this inner sense we are something greater than just primal soup. Even those who deny such ,sing a different tune on their death beds...I didn't say this or make this up, it's in the history books, or biographies....

So we "are "our own rock..we have "no need "of any real outside rock...we have no need of others, let's just wall ourselves off (this is self preservation gone haywire)...if love is not true, if it fails, we can either shun the greatest gift of love ever given,deny it's existence, or look for ways to justify our own lack of need for it.

This is the truly amazing part, we have the power of choice, and here is where our various baggage's,from life's "travels", can weigh us down.. Why not take a few moments today and see what unnecessary baggage's are either weighing,slowing,or dragging you down. If after "unpacking" a bit ,looking at what we have and you choose to ,keep or nourish the contents of you luggage ,that's your choice, fine ,wonderful however keep in mind....(and I like the way Yul Brenner quoted while portraying a Pharaoh in a movie he starred in))so let it be written....so let it be done. Step up to the plate and then no crying over spilt milk (when your dreams,goals etc do not come to fruition... When unpacking my luggage, I decided I for one need to avail myself to healing, to allow myself to accept the gift that will free us. To see, to feel true love...this is just the beginning. Yes that may leave me vulnerable, but given the option to choose I want to pie al' amode, ambrosia, to SLURP life...enjoy every emerald along life's journey...(locate and enjoy a copy of the book or movie So Big..)

Here in lies the paradox, true healing doesn't happen until you get the "splinter" out...one must heal from the inside out....So I am ready to open my heart, yes I will more than likely have it hurt again, but I am free to love.. free to grow,and thus free to accept love again...If I choose to keep those "protective" barriers up I inadvertently am choosing to shut out the light for healing and growth... the same is true for whatever is our goal..healing, perhaps having friends and or family reject us,a new business venture,schooling, faith ,reaching for a heart goal everyone else ridicules you for... a good example against all odds is my husband ,who grew up as an Anglo american child migrant worker, he was ridiculed for his dream to go to college...he had much opposition,many struggles,long hours of hard work ,much sacrifice looking towards the provision and for the good of his family. After many years he finally obtained his goal,at that time even then the economy ,and life happenings"played" some dreadful "tricks" on him ,yet he persevered.

In a fortune cookie was a quote I have treasured. not that I believe in "fortunes" per say,but this one contained a Chinese proverb, I believed so true. He who aims for the moon may hit a tree, but he who aims at the tree, may never get off the ground.... funny isn't it how a story has a life of it's own and can decide to go where it chooses. As I started this particular post I had no thought of mentioning anything about family,especially my husband and especially fortune cookies...

My challenge is to take a few moments when you read this and ask, where have you aimed your "sights" what happened to your dreams, where are you headed, what changes would ,could you make...What can you do in the next week, next month to help you refocus and move towards your goal(though none go with you )Perhaps it is to exercise, to lose weight, to study for either personal or spiritual growth, perhaps it is doing something unpleasant ,you just need to get it DONE so you can move forward,maybe it's start or finish a fun project that has been "lost" due to life happenings....whatever, make a decision NOW to take that first step, then hold yourself accountable,even if you really are alone.and have to write this down. Perhaps consider your need to FIRE your CEO (the one who is running you) and "hire" the "one" who will help you be the best you can be...have a "staff" evaluation. Look at who,what,etc you are , let go of the one who is hindering you and GO for it... why not join me and slurp life richly fully and vibrantly.... and everyday look for and let life be emeralds..

To quote a fellow health coach/friend ...yeah baby....... he says this often and so enthusiastically I just wish I could have a clip right now listen and to help you start your journey so YEAH BABY.......(give yourself a "gold star" for a day well done....(from me).....go.. .go..go....... as I declared in my first blog , I have faith in you

Happy New Year - Start This Year With A Merry Heart

A MERRY HEART

Green for growth in the year 2008, why not grow a merry heart with me this year ?

Really there is light for the end of your tunnel...

First we need a seed to plant... for now some hope, and a pleasant memory.

We need good soil in our hearts... for now the hope for a better tomorrow.

Some good rain... thinking on a past pleasant day, or perhaps watching a funny movie. Maybe rent an Old Danny Kaye movie such as our kids' favorites: Court Jester or Walter Mitty. Or how about Jimmy Stuart in It's a wonderful life ?

Some warm sunshine... look at the real beauty around you. Even clouds in the sky have beauty.Read something of value to inspire you... perhaps one of the Chicken Soup For The Soul books.

Now. How to start ? Let's start with some warmth and of course a merry heart. This will give us hope, renew our dreams and let us aspire to reach our desires and goals.

All of us started about the same, we all came with baggage, and depending on what life dished out for us, some may now have more baggage than others. It doesn't seem fair, and for some of us the hurts go beyond what seems humanly possible. I have been there myself. The amazing part is that each of us have been given the power of choice. What we do with our choices, our dreams, our lives is up to us.

I know some of you may be saying, "But you don't know what I endure - how black my tunnel is right now..."

Perhaps not precisely, unless I've personally met you and you have shared with me, but by that same token, you likely don't know what my dark tunnels of life have been either.There are a few out there who think they know my trials, but do we ever really understand the depths another person goes through? I think not. Even my husband of nearly 40 years who has been my closest friend, even he doesn't completely know and understand me, nor I him. And surprisingly, the more we know and understand, the more we realize we really don't know and understand.

To coin a phrase we heard repeated numerous times from someone who boldly lied before a judge, during our most recent tribulation "It doesn't matter"...

I found myself crying inside and shaking my head in great sadness and total shock about the denial by this person (who happened to hold a position one would expect total truth from) saying he had never said what he did and that if he had, it didn't matter. He had said it and it did matter.

What I learned from this, is that both statements are true. It does matter ( I will go in depth on this in future posts) and...

IT DOESN'T MATTER...

Why doesn't it matter? Because for NOW it doesn't.

The past we have no control over. What has happened, has happened. However, we can consciously or unconsciously allow events in the past to control us.

What should we focus on? The past? What has or has not happened, been said or left unsaid, forgiven, forgotten, or still seeping the poison of pain, regret, remorse into our very souls? Should this be our focus?

Or should it be the future? Fresh, new, full of hope and promise, fulfillment of our lost dreams. If we will just take heart and look for them, and bless them with our support and freedom to grow.

Can you let it go? The pain, the hurt, the bad memory, the injustice, the lost hope, the betrayal?

For just 1 day? For just 1 hour, or even just a minute?

LET GO...

Just for today, find some time for yourself. Alone, place your hand on your heart, think of some pleasant memory, perhaps a favorite pet, some kind words. If you have not had any kind words spoken to you, then
imagine me saying you are very special and have much to offer. If you are a critter lover, imagine one of my cute kittens sitting in your lap contentedly purring up at you, content to have your loving touch.


At one very down part of my life, firmly believing in a simple plaque made by a little child, made a difference for me. I found myself holding onto its simple truth repeatedly over the years...

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine. ~Proverbs 17:22

This simple verse was made out of outdated pills on a little wooden plaque by one of my children while in a camp craft class. It has encouraged me many times. I remember one very down day, trying to smile while looking in the mirror, repeating these words to myself as tears from so deep inside were flowing painfully down my face. I felt as if I would suffocate... yet I chose to believe those words. I can assure you that yes, a merry heart doeth good. Just hold on tightly, even when the way is dark.

I frequently take two of our dogs to a nursing home, for this very reason: To help make the heart of some one merry, even if just for a brief moment.

If you happened to be there, you wouldn't have to imagine Katie or Roo putting out a warm tongue, licking the palm of your hand to assure you that you are loved and special.

Even if you didn't know it, you would be special to me. That is why I go with these heart melting buddies of mine...to warm hearts and hopefully bring joy. A remembrance of a feeling of worth to dear souls who either are, or perhaps feel they are forgotten or unloved.

For a brief moment, imagine that love is given to you wherever this blog happens to reach out and find you. You are special and you are of great value. No matter what the past may be trying to convince you of otherwise. Perhaps you can hang on with the verse in Proverbs that helped me. Perhaps as I did, with a mournful smile at yourself in a mirror, you can find the strength to say these words outloud to yourself, trying to allow the seed for a merry heart a chance to grow.

For 2008, give the seed for a merry heart as a gift to yourself and give healing a chance to begin,

thus letting hope send down a tiny root.

I HAVE FAITH IN YOU

BABY STEP HEALING.....

I think this is enough for one day -to open up your heart and allow a fond memory just warm you. Breathe in deeply as you do this for just a minute, with your hand on your heart. Do this throughout the day, several times, and remember that what a person thinks becomes a part of us. Until tomorrow, a warm loving smile from me and an equally warm slurp from Katy and Roo...